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Starting out this year, one of my main goals was to be a better version of ME. 

I was not motivated by having a negative image of myself …

I just wanted to feel better

The last year or so has been pretty rough

Losing my mom really knocked the wind out of me

Even though I knew it was coming

I felt like I was in a fog

Some great things happened that year but something was missing …

I think without realizing it, I was trying to make sure that everything was OK for everyone else 

And not me

This year, I have gone to grief counseling, which led to the art therapy sessions at Sawtooth, and pushed me to getting started back with art again

Watercolor painting (or playing as I often refer to it) takes patience

Which has not been a strength of mine

But I look forward to my time doing that just for me

The art therapy also allowed me to experience different breathing techniques and practices

Which I so enjoyed and shared with others

That also prompted me to be more present in the NOW

And even more to take advantage of opportunities and experiences

I am reading a book right, Curvy Yoga: Love Yourself & Your Body a Little More Each Day

And I am even more appreciative of my family/friends and their acceptance for me as me

No matter what size I am or was

Weight and what is on the outside was not and is really a focus

And that is not because we are all skinny, but it is just not the focus

So when I decided to start with a healthy eating program earlier this year, 

It was not really about losing weight

Well, I guess it kinda was

But I really just wanted to be healthier overall

But I was doubtful

But I did it anyway

I am eating and doing things I never even considered before

And not feeling deprived or stressed out

I think focusing on health and not weight has helped me be successful

I am not saying that I am not glad I have lost over 40 pounds

I am not saying that I am not glad to be fitting in clothes better

I am not saying that I am not glad my doctor took me off blood pressure medicine

But I am more excited that I am feeling better

I feel like participating in my life

And in my daughter’s life

And in my husband’s life

I am not in a fog anymore

I am even more excited about experiences and opportunities

Following the plan has led to me eating healthier and making healthier choices

But it has not always been easy

I was a dedicated Coke drinker …

Now it is mainly water

I am a BIG fan of chicken nuggets from Chick-Fil-A

Now I choose the grilled ones 

But not always …

I don’t always make the best choices for my health

But they are healthier ones than before

At least most of the time

I did eat a Cream Cheese Muffin from my favorite bakery in Signal Mountain last week

And a few bites of cake

Today is my husband’s birthday and my 40th is right around the corner,

So I forsee cake again in my future

But that is a choice

And it does not ruin everything

I can always make better choices after that

And do


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